


The Price Isn't Worth It

by smolfluffqueen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 'gabriel doesn't need to wear a metallic suit'- no one, Dean is pissed, M/M, Sam just wants to sleep, cas doesn't understand game shows, gabriel needs his own tv show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolfluffqueen/pseuds/smolfluffqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam just wanted to sleep. He'd just put down a nest of vampires, so he guessed he deserved to sleep in for once. What he didn't want, however, was to finally drift off and wake up trapped in a game show with Cas and Dean. Of course, the game was hosted by none other than Gabriel himself, dressed in an obnoxious red metallic suit and a mustache. Of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Price Isn't Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm working on my other fic (Cas wears skinny jeans, you should totally read it) but I kinda hit a roadblock on it, so have this Sabriel game show fic!

Sam never slept.

That was kind of a lie, as humans need sleep to, ya' know, live. But anyone that could call resting four hours (if he was lucky) sleeping was  _crazy._ Most people wanted normal things, like a puppy (Sam wouldn't be adverse to that one, either) or new clothes, but Sam just wanted a somewhat comfortable bed and a good eight hours. So far, he'd had about four triple red eyes, two energy bars, and three five hour energies. 

Needless to say, he shouldn't have taken them all in the same time frame, because  _damn_ did he crash.

"Sammy?"

Sam jolted awake, blearily recognizing that he was in the impala. Dean gave him a disproving frown, he had seen how much this hunt had taken out of him, after all. Dean had practically had to herd him to bed these past few days, he had gotten too caught up in the research, arguing that it was simply too big of a case to sleep on, but Dean wouldn't have it. Sam didn't sleep, though, he just waited until Dean went back to sleep and continued the research on his phone under the covers.

"What?" Sam slurred, his eyes focusing in on a slightly blurry Dean. 

"Why don't we take a day off tomorrow? We could go fishing or something." Dean suggested, making Sam's head shoot up. "I mean, you aren't looking too hot, maybe a little R&R would do you some good."

Sam nodded in agreement, silently praying thanks to every deity that he knew that wasn't a dick (superman was't a deity, but whatever) because he was actually going to  _sleep_. He could already imagine it, the blissful darkness and silence for eight hours. Nothing could ruin this.  _Nothing._

They reached the motel and Sam all but sprinted across the parking lot towards their motel room. Sam then realized that he had left his room key in the car, and groaned. He's so  _close_. 

"Jesus, Sam, Don't wet yourself." Dean joked, finally reaching the door and unlocking it.

Sam shoved past him and ran toward his bed. After landing with a satisfying  _flop_ on the bed, Sam moaned. Crusty sheets or nor, he was  _definitely_ going to enjoy this.

"You didn't actually wet yourself, though, right? Cause I am _not_ cleaning that."

"No, Dean, fortunately for you, I didn't piss myself."

Dean nodded in satisfaction, and Sam went back to finding a comfortable position on the bed. When he found it, he yelled at Dean to shut the night off, not risking his spot for anything, not even to reach over and shut off the horse themed lamp. Dean grumbled and did it, mumbling about snotty little brothers. Sam snorted.

Eventually, Dean crawled into his bed and shut off the lamp (also horse themed) on his nightstand, darkening the room completely.

Sam fell asleep almost immediately, sleep coming over him quickly. Then there was a bright light in front of his eyes. Along with....cheering? Sam forced his eyes open and instantly regretted it.

He was standing on a gigantic stage, which looked strangely like the Jeopardy stage, only instead of "JEOPARDY" being displayed on the topic screen, it read "Are you smarter than a Winchester?" in sparkly, gold letters. He found that his feet were held in place when he tried to run, so he glanced at the source of the cheering, terrified, and found that they were all seemingly flawless, their hair, teeth, and faces were beautiful, which made him feel weird when he looked at them, it was like looking at the sun for too long.

"Sam?"

Suddenly, Castiel appeared at his right, along with Dean, who appeared on his left, and seemed very much asleep. Sam hit him, frustrated, and Dean snapped awake. 

"Ow! What the hell ma-  _what the fuck_?" Dean looked at everything, horrified, until he finally laid his eyes on Cas. "Cas? The hell is this?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be here, I assure you. I have not recently applied to be on a game show." Cas replied, flustered.

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but he didn't even get a word out, since the gigantic double doors (why hadn't he noticed them before?) opened, unleashing smoke and making the crowd go wild, the women were trampling over themselves to get a better look at the figure passing through the doors, and all he could do was hope it wasnt-  _no._ Out stepped Gabriel, dressed in a metallic red suit, a handlebar mustache, red dress shoes, and a matching metallic red bowtie.

Well, fuck.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Cas asked making Gabriel grin in response. Suddenly Gabriel was holding a scepter (seriously, did he buy everything red in bulk) and a (surprise) metallic red top hat.

"Glad you asked, Cassie." Gabriel placed the top hat onto his head and tossed the scepter in the air, catching it expertly and then leaning on it, grin still in place. "Obviously, I've brought you here for a little game." 

"What ga-" Dean started to protest, but Gabriel snapped his fingers, taking his voice away.

"Now, if everyone will  _shut their stupid_ _mouths_ , I'll explain." Gabriel glared at Dean, and then gave Sam a wink. Sam went pink, to the immense pleasure of Gabriel. "It's simple. You choose a category, and then you choose how much money you'll get out of it. Obviously, the more money it rewards, the harder it's gonna be. The one that ends up with the most money at the end of the game wins. Get it?" Gabriel gave everyone an appraising look, pausing to wink at Sam again, making him even more pink.

"So...it's like, Jeopardy, but about us?" Sam said slowly, and Gabriel grinned at him. 

"Sure is, Sugar. I  _knew_  you'd be the smart one." Sam was as red as a tomato at this point, which didn't go unnoticed by Cas and Dean, who both gave him questioning looks. The latter of the two looked more murderous than questioning, but he'd take it.

Suddenly, categories appeared, five in all, each labeled from $100-$800. From left to right, the categories read: CHARACTER FLAWS, BETRAYAL, PEOPLE WHO DIED BECAUSE OF  YOU, WORST NIGHTMARES, SEXUAL HUMILIATION. So, obviously, this was going to be a  _great_ dream.

Sam scribbled his name onto the tablet in front of him, and Dean silently followed suit. Dean had to explain to Cas that he had to write his name on it, and Cas eventually started writing. Cas took about two minutes, which confused both of them, because Castiel wasn't exactly a long name, unless he had a really long title that he had to write along with his name, which, to Sam, didn't seem worth it. Their names flashed on the podium, and from left to right they read: "Dean", "Sam", and "Dean, I don't understand why it is imperative that I write my name. "

"So, let's start from oldest to youngest, shall we?" Gabriel motioned to Cas, who looked even more confused than he was before.

"Cas, you have to choose a category." Dean stage whispered, and Cas sighed, clearly done with Gabriel's antics.

"Betrayal for $800, please." Cas monotoned.

Suddenly, a brunette woman (of course, it couldn't go on without a Vana White knockoff) in high heels and a cocktail dress that showed  _way_ more than it should stepped out and motioned to the screen, causing a sentence to appear.

"This man, along with the Winchesters, put their trust in you, but you decided to make a partnership with a demon and betray him. Who is he?" Gabriel read loudly, causing Cas to frown, but then look up in realization.

"Uh, what is Bobby?" Cas answered, making the crowd gasp in anticipation.

Gabriel tried to play it up as much as possible, he put on a thinking face and hmmm'd for about thirty seconds. Fed up with his shit, Dean started to complain, but Gabriel took away his voice  _again_ , making Dean even  _more_ pissed, so he looked to Cas for help. When Cas raised a hand and waved it, nothing happened. Confused, Cas tried again, but to no avail.

"Did you _seriously_  think I'd let you use your powers?" Gabriel said flatly, tutting. "Anyways, little Cassie got something right, the answer was Bobby." 

Dean glared at the board for a minute, and for a while Sam thought that Dean was going to not answer in protest, but then Dean gave in and chose his answer.

"Fuck, um, People who died because of you, for $200."

"So Dean, your boyfriend's pretty huge right now, Dean-o." Gabriel winked, causing Cas to squint in confusion.

"I am going to deep fry you in holy oil, you chicken bastard." Dean growled.

"I'm gonna have to turn you down on that one, big boy. Now if  _Sammy_   was the one introducing oils-"

"Can I get my question so you can stop trying to flirt with my brother?" Dean interrupted, and Gabriel mumble something that sounded like "ruin all my fun"

The answer card magically appeared in Gabriel's hand and the girl (Sam had internally started calling her Mana Schwite, just cause it rhymed) waved her arm, making the question appear. 

"This girl worked her first case with you, despite her mother's adamant disapproval. She later died, with her mother, horrifically. Who is she?"

Dean sighed and mumbled his answer, which, apparently, wasn't good enough for Gabriel.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, What is Jo, you gigantic bag of dicks." Dean responded.

Gabriel tutted in disappointment.

"Such anger, young Skywalker." Gabriel quoted. "But yes, the woman you led into hunting and later exploded for you is Jo."

Sam twitched nervously. He'd been standing for what felt like  _forever_ , and revisting this stuff hadn't been entirely easy for him either. He, however, was a fucking  _goldmine_ of fuck ups, so he wasn't looking forward to this.

"Sam, of course, is last, cause he's the baby. A babe, if you will." Sam looked up to see Gabriel winking at him  _again_ , but the fact that Gabriel had been flirting with him all night hadn't helped with the blushing situation, so he got even redder.

Considering the options, there wasn't much to choose from. Dean had already done the dead people one, and Cas had chosen Betrayal. Now, he  _could_ stay on topic with Dean's, but he also didn't wan to be a copy cat,so he had to choose. There was no way he was revealing his flaws or his nightmares, Gabriel didn't need to know more than he did now. But also, his brother and Cas were there, so if he chose 'Sexual Humiliation' he wasn't going to live this down easy.

Ah, fuck it.

"Sexual Humiliation for $800, please." The crowd, including Gabriel, wolf whistled at this choice, not to mention Dean and Cas, who were looking at him like he'd grown another head.

Sam sighed. All he wanted to do was sleep, was that too much to ask? His relationships weren't  _that_ bad, sure, maybe he had a relationship with a demon and got addicted to her blood, but that happened to everyone, right? Everybody had an ex that they regretted to their very core, whether it was a sexist frat boy or a kinky demon, everybody had one.

"This girl had a  _very_ big crush on Sam, and even though they went on a hunt together, Sam left her, only to come back in time for her to die. Who is she?"

Sam frowned, he couldn't remember any girl he had ever gone out on a hunt with, like,  _ever_. Unless you counted the time he hunted with Becky, but technically that one didn't count because he had been roofied.

"Thirty seconds left, Sammoose."

Every girl Sam had ever been with flashed before his eyes. The timer was counting down faster and faster, he couldn't-

Sam's hand slammed on the buzzer, stopping the clock at two seconds.

"Well, Sam?"

Suddenly it hit him, a wave of nausea swept over Sam in waves. He was faintly aware of Dean shouting his name as he collapsed. The last thing he saw before blacking out was Gabriel rushing toward him.

Maybe going without eating for two days was a mistake.

Damn you, blood sugar.

\----------------------------------------------------------

When Sam woke up, he blearily recognized what seemed like a green room. Beer, chips, hamburgers, and an inhuman amount of candy was artfully arranged around the room. The couch Sam was laying on actually let him stretch his legs for once, causing Sam to sigh happily. Suddenly, Gabriel was hovering over him, a concerned look on his face. Sam jumped in surprise, causing Gabriel to chuckle.

"Here. Eat." Gabriel tossed him a twix bar. "You  _did_ faint from low blood sugar, after all." 

Sam opened the candy suspiciously and bit off a small bite.

"Kid,  _eat_." Gabriel took the candy bar from him and pulled off the wrapper. "Seriously, it's not poisonous."

Gabriel took a bite out of it and waved the candy, as if to say 'I  _told_  you so' and Sam grabbed it, biting into the chocolate with renewed hunger. Once he finished the candy and could talk again, he began assaulting Gabriel with questions.

"Where 're Dean 'n Cas?" Sam said, attempting to get chocolate off the roof of his mouth.

"Dean went back to rathole central, and I sent Cassie with him. They  _really_ need to get that anger out of their systems." Gabriel winked, and Sam grinned in response.

Sam pushed himself up, making Gabriel wince. 

"'M fine, Gabe." Sam smiled, wincing at his back. He couldn't have hit the ground  _that_ hard, could he?

"Did you just call me  _Gabe?"_

_"_ What? No. Why would I?" Sam stuttered, attempting to cover up his mistake.

"Later, Smsquatch." Gabriel snapped his fingers, making Sam appear in his motel room, interrupting Cas and Dean, who were scheming on how to get him back.

"Seriously, Cas, he's your _brother_ , you gotta know something!" Dean said angrily.

"Uh, guys-"

"Why is it that you continue to tell me that I have to know  _everything_. I don't know what he's doing to Sam, I'm sorry."

Dean huffed and turned away, only to reveal a very tired looking Sam, who was starting to take off his shoes.

"Dude, what did he-"

"No talk. Only sleep." Sam mumbled, pulling the blankets over him and closing his eyes. He hear the soft gust of air that informed him that Cas had gone off to sulk somewhere. Dean stomped off to the bathroom and slammed the door. Sam closed his eyes.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sammy! C'mon, you'll make us miss the prime spots!" 

"Dean, it's literally nine in the morning, no one is gonna be there, I promise." Sam rolled over in the bed, rubbing his face deeper into the pillow. Suddenly, he felt something smooth rub against his face. Upon opening his eyes, he discovered that the object was a Twix bar, along with a sticky note (shaped like candy, of course) that read: 

_Sam-_

_Eat._

_-Gabe._

The 'e' in Gabe was finished off with a small heart, and Sam smiled at the candy.

"Coming, Dean!" Sam grabbed the Twix bar and ran outside, grabbing his jacket as he walked out the door. Sam climbed into the open and then opened the candy, earning a confused stare from Dean.

"Since when do you eat candy?" 

Sam shrugged, smiling. 

"Hey, if you like, eat something with someone or whatever and they eat at the same spot as you, is that a kiss?" Dean asked, looking over at Sam.

"Yeah, it's an indirect kiss, cause you-" Sam stared at the Twix bar in horror. 

He and Gabriel had  _indirectly kissed._

"Sammy? You okay?" 

"Yeah, I'm just ready to go get those fish! Whoo!" Sam tried to make his voice sound as normal as possible.

"Freak." Dean mumbled, pulling out of the parking lot. 

 


End file.
